What if?
by princess-oro
Summary: “What if you were to be paired up with, say, Lee?” “Surely, you won’t be that cruel.” Sasuke and Hinata talk about the possible pairings. *SasuHina*


Summary: "What if you were to be paired up with, say, Lee?" "Surely, you won't be that cruel." Sasuke and Hinata talk about the possible pairings.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Gosh. Rub it in, why won't you?

A/N: I was bored of doing my homework and instead of being the diligent student that I _should_ be and study hard, I decided to write this useless one-shot. I truly don't know what I was thinking and I don't even know why I'm posting it but yeah. Have a great time laughing at my lack of writing skills.

Warning: Slight Sakura bashing. But I don't have a thing against her. Although I think she should be hanged and mauled and decapitated for being such a pink-haired despo. See, I _really_ don't have a thing against her. (innocent smile)

* * *

"I'm hungry," Sasuke complained, rubbing his taut and slightly tanned stomach. His head was in Hinata's lap and he scowled when his wife laughed and pinched his cheek.

"You just ate," Hinata replied, not bothered at all by the Uchiha's incessant whining. "I made you a huge bento and you finished my leftovers. Gosh, it's as if you're the pregnant one."

Sasuke laughed, "Yeah, maybe I am. And you have a bulging tummy because you're fat."

"Shut up, Sasuke!" Hinata exclaimed, her face breaking out in a smile. "Mou, that's mean. Inside this _fat tummy_ is your 7 month-old child."

He looked up at her with warm, loving eyes and patted her stomach fondly.

"Sasuke?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you imagine if you had a child with Sakura?"

They were silent for a while as they thought of an Uchiha boy with shocking pink hair sticking up messily in the back with an abnormally large forehead and a red sharingan eye along with a startling green left eye.

Sasuke's handsome features were distorted into a horrified look. He muttered savagely, "You gotta be kidding me. I would rather be an Itachi and go on a killing spree before I would let my son grow up with _sissy pink hair_."

Hinata tried to stifle a giggle but failed miserably and she said, "But I like pink."

"Yeah, pink's good on lollipops, candies and ice-creams. But pink is NOT good on hair."

"Well, okay then. How about Naruto?"

"What about him?"

"What if you had a child with Naruto-kun?"

"W-what?" Sasuke sputtered indignantly. "We're MEN."

"Well, you two always had that thing going on..."

"What THING?"

"Oh, you know, foreplay," Hinata said casually but upon her husband's furious look, she hastily added in, "But it's true! You guys are always fighting and arguing and YOU KISSED HIM."

Sasuke sat up, his posture rigid. "I did NOT kiss him. He kissed me. There's a difference."

"Well anyway, I bet you two would have beautiful babies," Hinata said dreamily, her eyes glazing over with the thought of beautiful baby boys with gorgeous dark hair and clear blue eyes or bright blonde hair with soulful dark eyes. Yummy.

"Earth to Hinata," Sasuke said drily, waving his hands in front of her face. "Done with your porno-paedophilic fantasies?"

"I-it's not porno! Mou!" Hinata protested, her face turning a blushing red.

"What's with the weird questions, anyway?"

"I dunno. It just sprang into my mind, I guess."

"Kami, why must my wife be so weird?" he muttered. "Well then, what about you? What if you were to be paired up with, say, Lee?"

Silence.

"Surely you won't be _that_ cruel."

Somehow the thought of mini Lees running around in tight green spandex shouting "Babies of spring!" didn't sit well with Sasuke either as he quickly said, "Okay, okay. What about Neji?"

Hinata scrunched up her face and squealed, "Eww, Hyuuga incest! Now who's the porno-crazy one, huh? Besides, do you really want my children to be as anal-retentive as Neji-nii-san?"

Sasuke burst out laughing when he heard that.

"Shut up, Sasuke. And don't you dare tell him I said that!" Hinata warned, her eyes lighting with mischief. "Of course I love Neji-nii-san but sometimes, he can be such a…you know."

"Drag queen?" Sasuke offered, the corners of his mouth twitching into a grin.

"Sasuke!"

"A tight pain-in-the-ass?"

"Sasuke!!"

"It's true," Sasuke said matter-of-factly. He lay back down on Hinata's lap. "Ever since I first met him, he's always had this constipated look on his face like someone had shoved up Gaara's gourd up into his ass."

"Sasuke!!"

* * *

"Hinata?"

"Yes?" Hinata replied, her gentle demeanour a stark contrast to her brief display of violence earlier on. Proof of the latter was Sasuke who was now sporting a shiny purple bump on his otherwise flawless forehead courtesy of Hinata.

"What would you do if I had an affair with Orochimaru?"

* * *

By the end of the day, Sasuke had to use his hitai-ate to cover his swollen forehead which now resembled a purple grape on steroids.

_End._

* * *

There, done. In case you didn't get it, Hinata smacked Sasuke when he made the crude "Gaara's gourd" comment and she smacked him again when he asked that awful Orochimaru question.

Feedbacks are much appreciated and thanks for reading it. :) Much love.


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